This weekend solidifies my status as the square peg. After having gone to a suprise b-day bash for my ex-ceo of a dotcom, some friends and I went to this club out in Hermosa Beach. It was pretty ok, but I quickly realized how lame I am. Not only did I not really fit in, I just didn't understand the whys of it all. Going under the guise that we were entertainment reporters (so we wouldnt have to stand in line), my friends quickly found themselves having a blast dacing amongst themselves on the floor.
I always knew that I had more fun hanging out with good people and places conducise to hanging out, like bars or coffee shops or whatevers. Not clubs, where the music is too loud, too many guys hitting on too few girls. I think clubs are only fun when you acutally have a g/f to go with. Otherwise, whats the point? Seriously. Whats the point? I saw a few people kind of hookup, but not really. The music was cool, but again, I think I'm just too old for the clubbing scene.
I mean, I'm not that old, mid 20's, but having done all of the clubbing and mass drinking earlier on in life, I have just grown tired of the whole ordeal. I used to see the attraction years ago, meeting new girls, hooking up with girls and trying to bang'em. But now-a-days, it just doesnt whet my appetite.
What can you do? Even at the b-day I got along with some people, but maybe it was b/c I was the only asian there, or maybe it was because I was 20 years younger than everyone else. But whatever the case maybe, I usually feel like the odd one out wherever I go.
Funny to note that the only time I really felt at home was when I was in a place where I didn't know anyone. Like when I lived in Korea or traveled through western europe. I felt most at ease at those places. I dont know what the cause is, but I just can't seem to relate to many of my friends or anyone around me. Why is that? Same story for all these years. Maybe that's why I don't really keep in touch with most friends. Maybe thats why when I speak to some frineds I knew from high school, they tell me how they hung out with all these people from high school and what not. Or even from college. Hearing these things usually makes me go, hmm... We were all friends, why contact them? Perhaps it was b/c I was so detached from everyone, only really getting along with the older people, like the people I worked with who were usually at least 5 years older than me.
I'm not saying I'm mature, but I just feel like I am totally in a different universe when talking to people my age. Could it be b/c I'm usually the one doing things first? Like starting a company, travelling, and doing a whole slew of other things, and that by the time my friends catch up, I',ve already been there done that?
I hate being alone, even when I'm surrounded by friends, I'm still alone. Stupid focking me. I dont think I'll ever find someone who understands. Oh well....who gives a crappola.
Oh well. As much as I enjoy pondering the why's of why I am so out of place I must go and get some work done.